|
O’Mara Antoine
Dear Summer Search,
Long before my mother knew she had breast cancer, she got hit by a car just across the street. Her leg was injured, and when it healed, there was a huge scar. Six months later my mother had a C-Section, and we were born. I weighed one pound, and my sister O’Rama weighed half a pound. We were fed by tubes and made it through being premature babies. A few years later my mother had a lump in her left breast. When she went to get it removed, the doctor wasn’t able to get it all, and later it started to develop once again and spread throughout her body. She started to get seizures and strokes. One day she went to sleep and never woke up; she was in a coma. My brother called the police, and soon my mother was on her way to the hospital. She got out of the coma, but didn’t get better, and still the doctor sent her home. She started to get more strokes, and one day she grabbed a bowl and filled it with water and had some bread--and thought that she was having oatmeal and bread. That was the day when I knew that her time was coming. She looked like she was dying everyday, because of the side effects of the remedy used to help stop the cancer from spreading. My mother went back to the hospital and died there after a dream that my dad had some days before.
My mother’s full name is Marie Jose Luis. She suffered from breast cancer for years, but she lost the fight when my sister and I were ten. I don’t remember the date when she passed away, but I do remember the details of that day. My twin sister and I were on a Whale Watch trip with the school, and when we returned back to the school, my older brother was there, waiting to pick us up. When we saw him, he told us that our mom had passed away. From that day on, our lives haven’t been the same. My father and brother couldn’t get along, so my brother ran away to Canada to live with our aunt and uncle. My sister and I weren’t as free as my brother had been, because my father feared that we would end up like him. Life became harder. My father was now raising two girls. He wasn’t used to spending time with us, but now he is. Now we live with problems from a different source.
After my mother’s death I started to feel isolated. At school I had associates, not friends. Making friends would consist of talking to others about my life and feelings, but I wasn’t willing to speak one word to anyone. My only friend was my sister; she is the only person I trusted with the feelings and thoughts that I kept inside for so long. I wasn’t able to trust people or tell them about my mother’s death. As I got older, I started to mingle more with the students at school and around my neighborhood, but it was Summer Search who opened my eyes and helped me in believing others and being able to share my mother’s story with others.
Knowing I am the kind of person who keeps to myself it was hard to imagine being with people I didn’t know for a month on my trip in California called Environmental Traveling Companions. To my surprise I opened up on the first day. When we did the ropes course, even when I completed my challenge with the group, I had to share my ideas... I couldn’t isolate myself, because the trip was all about teamwork. The only time I was alone was when I went kayaking in a single kayak, when I wrote in my journal, and when I had a tent to myself for ten days. As days went by, I started to open more, and when I allowed my inner self to show, to my surprise people accepted me. Not one person excluded me from being myself. The group that I worked with was very supportive, and I thought of them as an adopted family. Rob and Diana were my temporary parents at that time. Through this powerful program I was able to interact more; for the first time I let O’Mara out of her cage to a big group and let everyone see her without being ashamed. When I started the ropes course I found myself almost falling, but the man on the other side told me to keep on going. It was that man who kept ensuring that I would make it to the end; that helped me finish it.
... On the trip we had open council every day and would talk about how the day went and occasionally our life stories. Every time Rob said it was time for life stories, I would always back away from it, but I gave in one day when we were on the Good Humus Organic family farm. When I shared my mother’s death, I did cry, and I was surprised. I was happy when I spoke about it... I [hadn’t been] able to let her go, and I think that on that day I finally was able to say goodbye to her. That day was the most meaningful day of my life...
... Summer Search helps with building on what someone already may have so that the person can use it in their every day life. At home I recycle more, I shower in less time than I used to, and taught my sister how to clean dishes and use Clorox as a disinfectant. I also told her about the dangers of using too much Clorox. Knowing my sister, she sometimes disregards my comments. Once again I would like to thank Summer Search for this opportunity.
Thank you,
O’Mara Antoine
|