I was born in Providence, lived here my whole life. But one of my parents is Dominican. I went back to DR with them when I was 14. The only other time I'd been there was when I was two years old, so that was a pretty amazing trip. I didn't know what to expect when I went, but I kind of thought it would be a lot like here. But as soon as we got off the plane and headed over to my cousin's house, I knew it was different. I saw palm trees, breathed in beach air. I thought it was nice, but then the environment kept getting worse and worse. When we got to their house it was pretty clear that they live in an area with a lot of crime and poverty every day. It made me appreciate what I have. Especially heading outside of the city where all they have is dirt roads. If Hurricane Katrina had happened there, there wouldn't be anything left afterwards.
My parents would tell me stories about their childhoods so I had a little bit of an idea what to expect. But it's one thing when you tell somebody something, and another when you actually see it for yourself. It was crazy actually seeing it—little kids with no parents, little kids drinking, stuff like that. When I got back I noticed a lot of little things about my living situation here, like how our house is strong and won't blow over, or how much a dollar can actually buy here. You go over to DR with $20 and you're basically rich.
That experience definitely made me more mature. Before that I was pretty ignorant, thought that I was tough. But when I went over there and saw the real deal, what it's really like to live in hard times, that taught me a lot. I used to do dumb stuff with my friends, running around and causing trouble wherever we could. But now, I really think twice about that kind of stuff. I take care of my friends, that's true, but that's just the world we live in.
When I first got here in ninth grade, I tried to do a complete 180 and change myself totally. I tried to be happy all the time, treat everybody with respect and avoid confrontation. When I first arrived here I got into a little physical confrontation, got myself into a little bit of trouble. It wasn't like I was looking for a fight or anything, but this one kid used a racial slur towards me. That made me realize that you can't always be so nice to everybody. People are going to take advantage of that.
For me, my family's love is worth dying for. I could be completely, flat broke; I could live in a cardboard box; but if I have my family's love, I don't care. That's how much I love my family. I love my mother, my father, I even love my grandmother. We've been through a lot of things. Nobody can touch my family. I'm not trying to be reckless or anything, that's just me. Sometimes I do have a little bit of a temper, I'll be honest, but that's only sometimes. I've come a really long way.
I have some friends, too, that are almost like family because I'm so close to them. Some people tell me that I need to watch out with my friends. But it's not like I've just met these people—I'm down with them.
The play I did here in ninth grade was one of my biggest accomplishments. I got a standing ovation. It was a trip. That was the first time I did any type of acting and I got a standing ovation. I got such a rush off of it, now I want to be an actor. I'm taking acting classes, but it's only been since the end of tenth grade that I realized this is what I want to do. It's made me commit to getting my work done and now I've made it onto the honor roll this year. I've come a long way, that's for sure. I used to get all Fs, now I'm on the honor roll. It's made my mother happy; I've been able to earn her trust again. I even put the certificate on a t-shirt.
I'm motivated by how disappointed my parents were when I wasn't doing well. My father didn't have a chance to finish school in DR because he had to drop out early to work. My mother went to school, but she still has a tough time. She's only a teacher's assistant, even though she's talented enough to be a teacher herself. But coming from another country, it's been hard. And just having them tell me that they love me, that's been a big deal to me. There are definitely some things at this school that don't really interest me, I just do them to get the grade. But I plan on picking up some psychology books, to read up on other things that don't necessarily get covered here. I plan on trying to educate myself. I don't do well, necessarily, just sitting in a class and being told what to read and what to do. I like to learn at my pace.
Teachers should try to understand more where students are coming from. There are a lot of teachers that get down on their kids. If you're a teacher coming from a white-collar family into an urban school, you should really try to understand where we're coming from. If I have people living next door to me with guns and drugs going in and out of their house, I can be right in the crossfire any given night. And they get down on us for not doing our homework every night. A lot of teachers don't take the chance to understand us. But a lot of teachers do, and students take advantage of that. Students could be close to committing suicide, and some teachers would never even know.
There's also an administrator that helped me out a lot. When I was getting kicked out of this one class a lot freshman year, he used to tell me that the next time I get kicked out I should yell or say anything, just come down to his office and blow off some steam. Then I'd go back to the class and be cool. That helped me learn to have closer relationships with my teachers. And those relationships live on. I'd never have expected that, that I have closer relationships with some of the teachers than my friends. I don't really know that many people at Central, most of them think that I'm really quiet. But I connect with my teachers. I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to get my education. I never thought in a million years that I'd have close relationships with teachers.
Johanna Castillo>>
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